Changes are scary.

I'm pretty sure it's been about 7 months since my last blog. Why? Because that's about the time I took on a new challenge and adventure in my career. It was scary as hell, and the learning curve was tremendous, but I have persevered and learned so much! Why am I writing a blog post now? Well, I have another scary change coming at the end of this week; I'm leaving a place I have worked at for almost five years to go back to the classroom. Although this brings many sad emotions from leaving a place I have grown to be comfortable in and have developed so many new friendships; I am so excited to be returning to the classroom. I have this since of returning 'home'. I know it's corny, but I can't wait to be in my environment again. I have been reflecting and wondering if I should have taken on this last seven months as a manager with all it's extra work hours and stresses. I have finally put those thoughts to rest knowing that how much I have developed as a professional and the confidence I have gained in myself to stand up for what I believe it right. I am a fighter! The most important thing is that I see how strong my family is and how supportive my husband is no matter what challenges we are faced with. This last seven months hasn't been easy, but I have have shown my daughter that she can be and do what ever she puts her mind to in life; it doesn't matter your background or race, but that determination will win in the end. Yes, she doesn't know that now, but she will... The most important part of this story is that I'm finishing one chapter this week and starting another that includes shaping young minds, using my creativity again and incorporating my family back into my work life through FFA BBQ's and farm days. I'm so happy with this next move in my life and I hope the story plays out to a happy ending. You would think with how much life changes we would be more adept at dealing with change. Heck, our own bodies even look different ever day, but I still get just a freaked out with each change in life!

Flouride for the kiddo.

I have wondered since she was around 6 months when I was supposed to brush her teeth with toothpaste that had flouride in it. I have asked my mommy friends and most of them said closer to the age 2 is when they began their babes with flouride. I also asked my pediatrician of course, but sometimes he recommends things that I completely disagree with. (He said as soon as they get teeth.) Also, there is the recommendation on the actual tubes of toothpaste, and it says the age 2. This has been bothering me for awhile now, so I finally decided to scour the internet last night and came up with a couple good articles/ websites that  has helped guide me into a plan of action. The first website is from USA today that discusses how the American Dental Association now recommends we use a rice grain size of fluoride on our children's teeth before the age of two. In fact, they say to start this as soon as your child gets teeth. The change in this decision is based on the huge increase in children's cavities. They also say to start teaching your child to spit out the excess toothpaste so as to prevent fluorosis. Hmm... we'll see about that with a one year old! The other website I found that I really enjoyed was this from dentistry.net that talks about the best 5 toothpastes for children. I noticed Tom's was on the top, and from my own searching at the store I found this was my favorite as well! It has so many natural components and just seems healthier, the best part about the Tom's mentioned on that website was that they sell an Orange-Mango flavor. I'm sure kiddos would love that. With Gracie being allergic to oranges I'm not going to chance that, but I am trying out another flavor here at home this week. I probably won't be brushing her teeth every day with fluoride, but I will start once a week to see how it goes. By the way, I have been brushing her teeth with the children's fluoride free toothpaste since she got teeth (which was around 6 months.) She LOVES to brush her own teeth. In fact, she throws a huge tantrum if I take her toothbrush from her too early, so I let her pack it around and brush for awhile after her bath. Truthfully, I don't mind since it's a good habit plus it makes her teeth feel better since her one year molars are busting through her sensitive gums.

Allergies

There are so many things I have worried about as a new mom, and of course these worries change weekly, daily, heck sometimes even hourly. She is always growing and exploring and doing something new, so of course there is always something she is getting into or trying out for the first time. Although I have come to enjoy her recent independence, it has come with a whole new set of things to watch for. Now that she is one, it's also nice that I can lighten up so much more on what she eats. It's so nice that she can drink cows milk for example, but I'm still limited on what she can chew since she only has two tiny bottom teeth still. For the most part, we have really begun to get into a routine at home with our little miss. That is, until a few weeks ago when she had an allergic reaction at daycare. We thought we identified what it was that was causing the red rash on her face, head and a little on her body, but we weren't 100%. Well, today at daycare we have finally figured it out... the hard way. I checked in through text message and asked for a picture. A few minutes later I get a picture of my sweet girls face all red and a little puffy. It turns out she had a tiny piece of orange and it set her off. We thought it was pineapple, but she had had that before. How stressful is that? I started to think about all the oranges I have eaten in life and how often it's in fruit salads, or as an option at different places. I worry about what would happen if she had a ton, if I didn't give her Benadryl, and what else is she allergic too? For example; is she allergic to smoothies or fruit juices that have orange in them? So much to worry about as a parent, and as stressful as this allergy is, I am keeping it into perspective for myself on just how lucky I am that this is such a small issue to deal with and with  so many other problems that there are with children, I really am lucky. This won't stop me from checking on my little woman all night though... I see as a parent I will never truly sleep restfully again! Regardless, I am feeling so blessed to have this special little girl to call my daughter.

Give me a break!

March was a tough  month for me mentally and physically; I literally couldn't catch a break. Work was nuts, my daughter got super sick, my husband and myself ended up on meds... and then my sickness didn't go away. Back onto meds after a week of hearing loss and them my daughter starts teething hard. More missed sleep... and what do I start to think about? How I have gained three pounds and I really need to get back to eating healthy and why in the world haven't I been working out? I got really hard on myself and made this big plan in my head about getting up early in the mornings to get on my workout bike before I shower and before my daughter gets up. I was super motivated and ready to do this; and then that same night I was up every hour with my daughter and her crying and screaming from those darn teeth. Then I ended up asleep on the floor with her, then the couch, then walking for 45 minutes rocking her. The next morning I hit snooze an unreasonable amount of times and I'm pretty sure I was 15 minutes late to work and you want to know what I realized? That I need to give myself a break.  I'm not Wonder Woman, I can't do it all in one day; that my sleep and sanity is more important than three pounds and fitting just a bit better in my jeans right now. That I already do A LOT in my day and I need to just give myself a break. I know I put a lot of self pressure on myself for what I expect but I also think there is so much pressure in society for moms, working and not, to do it all and look super sexy while doing it. Well, I'm here to say it's not possible unless you have a total nervous breakdown by the end of it. I'm ok that right now my biggest need is my family and my daughter and getting through all these little "things" this month. That I need sleep more and that one day my working out and eating right self will be back.

Becoming Wonder Woman

I haven't written an blog post in several months, and there is a really great reason for this: I have been practicing being Wonder Woman! No, really, I have. My husband and I made the choice for me to accept a new position in my company, one that is at the Manager level and with it has come many challenges and bumps along the way. Not only that, but I now oversee four different businesses in the Food and Beverage industrty that are all operating seven days a week and one that is 24 hours a day. This matched with the large learning curve and massive amount of work that is needed to get the training manuals, staff morale, promotion and marketing and consistency up to par has made for a very tired momma and wife. Although I have learned a lot over the past couple months, I have also had to give up quality time and energy for my family. Going into this I knew that would be the case however, and some times it's these every day sacrificies that we as Wonder Women/ Mom's/ Dad's have to make to keep our family going in the right direction. This has also meant that I have continued to rely on my amazing husband more and more as now he has had to pick up the weight and responsiblities that I have had to give up such as picking up our daughter in the afternoon and feeding her dinner; sometimes bathing her and putting her to bed. It's difficult for me to not be involved in these things but it has been so amazing to watch their bond and relationship grow as dad and daughter and my love and adoration for my husband has only grown. It also makes me think a lot about the sacrifices my own mother made as a single mother (I seriously have no idea how she was able to raise three of us alone!) and the inner strength she must have to have kept it all together and to keep trucking along and keeping us in line. It also makes me think how the heck do parents of twins do it! Maybe it's their norm... oh well. The point is, good parents and good mommas just do it. They step up and they make it happen for their babes, their husbands, their friends. You somehow manage to fit it all in. Sometimes it's not perfect, sometimes you drop the ball, sometimes  you irritate your husband because you don't have it in you to wash the dishes or even put  your plate in the dish washer 5 days in a row. But, we are doing it as a family, getting me the experience to build my resume and the money to get us into a place in life we as a family unit want to be. On my hard days I wonder if  I made the right choice, but I look at my daughter and I know that I want to be the woman she will admire someday and I want her to not be afraid of change, to be a woman of leadership and to dive into all of the challenges that life throws at her head first and fist upward, just like Wonder Woman. I have no idea where my future career will lead me and how long I will do one thing or another, but I will continue to battle and be the best woman I can be each day with this image in my mind, and my Wonder Woman cup of coffee in my hand. Bring it on world!

The Pediatrician, The Expert, Right?

I have learned a lot in the last 10 months being a mom, but one lesson I have learned recently it that not everyone knows everything, especially when it comes to my kid. I have taken everything that my pediatrician has told me as off I must follow him because he knows exactly what's right, right? Wrong. Totally wrong. He has some really great ideas and feedback, but what I have realized time and again is that I know more of what is right of for my daughter than anyone else because I have spent more time with her than anyone else and I have my mommy sense. A good example of this is the diaper rash/ yeast infection situation I was dealing with for a couple of months. During maternity leave Gracie might have had diaper rash once, and I think it was because I was overusing wipes and her little skin was so brand new. I also think that I didn't change her enough at night because I didn't know, and yes I feel mom guilt from that! Thank goodness my best friend told me her routine of changing them right when they wake for a night time feeding. That it's worth hearing them scream for a minute and them give them the boob and they go right back to sleep. Once I went to daycare it seemed to be happening all the time. This of course worried me and I have an awesome daycare provider, but you start to wonder what the heck is going on all day long for this to keep happening! I asked my pediatrician for ideas, scoured the internet and quizzed all my mom friends and I really couldn't figure out what was happening. I got shut down by my pediatrician saying that first, it wasn't a yeast rash, and that it must be what I was feeding her. Well, I though about it and there was no way it was her food. I have fed her nothing but breast milk and pure homemade foods since she was born. My daycare provider and I even narrowed her food down to bland foods one at a time to see if there was a reaction. At one point at the end  Nystatin didn't even work to get rid of the yeast rash that I finally got the doctor to look at and give me a prescription. We even tried different types of diapers and I started to analyze the foods that I was eating to see if that might be causing it. Of course it turns out it was the bubble bath and I'm happy to report that a few weeks later we STILL have perfect skin in her sensitive areas! Yahoo! But, it makes me disappointed in my pediatrician that he didn't help me more or provide more support. He has pushed me off like this several times as if I'm a new mom and worry too much. Or, that I am not worthy to spend more than the allotted time. Interestingly enough, when my husband goes with me his tune seems to change a bit. It makes me want to chew his butt and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm a highly educated woman who is not only intelligent, professional and classy, but I'm paying your ass to listen to me right now, so show some respect!" HAHA. He also seems to be annoyed at me that I only allow them to give Gracie one shot at a time. She has such horrible reactions to the shots each time, I would hate to give her several and have a bad allergic reaction on my hands. Does anyone else have these types of situations with their Pediatrician? He hasn't been bad every time, I just painted him to be a super bad guy, but I do realize that when I ask him things or tell him about my daughter, he really doesn't have all the answers. Neither does the internet, family or friends. That's what makes it so hard sometimes to be a parent and the mom. That you have to make some important decisions and sometimes you have to chose even though you have no idea if it's right or not. I'm looking forward to my second pregnancy and child, hopefully by them I can put all this new knowledge to use and not feel so stressed! I have to admit though, it is getting a little easier the older she gets. :)

Holidays!

I can't explain just how excited I was for the holidays for my little family. I know she is too little to know about Santa and gifts and all the excitement that comes with Christmas, but I was really excited. She was wound up during the week of Christmas though, so I think she could feel how pumped we were and see the fun stuff happening like putting up the tree and decorating the house. I mean, who doesn't want to pull the berries and ornaments off the Christmas tree and rip the wrapping off the presents that are right at your level? Seriously though, it's amazing how much the holidays change for you when you become a parent. All I wanted for Christmas was to watch her learn and experience new things. I couldn't wait to see how she reacted on Christmas morning when everyone was tearing into their gifts and playing with their new toys. I could have cared less if I got any gifts as long as my little girl felt special on Christmas! I also love getting together with my immediate family and watch my niece enjoy opening her gifts and watching the two of them interact. We got them both Little Tikes plastic cars and they loved them! Gracie especially, she kept trying to climb in hers and would just sit and smile and wave every time we pushed her around in it. It makes my heart so happy to watch her grow, smile and laugh! What a blessing to have both my parents and my husbands parents apart of our daughter's life. We got to do a second Christmas with the in-laws three days after Christmas and she got spoiled again. What a lucky little girl we have to have truly great people in her life that love her so much. I just sit back sometimes and take it all in and smile knowing that all of these people will bring such love, joy and positive influence in my daughter's life. The best part is that it is only going to get better from here! Seriously, I have already planned out Elf on the Shelf, videos of catching Santa in our house, making 'Ninja Bread Cookies', and putting out cookies and milk for Santa. I hope I never tire of experiencing these special times with my baby girl and that she will look back some day and cherish these special memories we are creating of her.